I wanted a response. I wanted feedback.
I set myself up for disappointment and failure. Twice.
“I think I’m supposed to lead or organize prayer for the ladies, especially the youth, going to DC from our church.”
I said this to my husband as he was in the final steps of his routine to get out the door. I had chickened out for hours the evening before and a couple more that morning.
As I felt disappointed because I didn’t get a response I thought of a story Cheri Gregory shares in Overwhelmed: How to Quiet the Chaos and Restore Your Sanity where her husband told her he couldn’t read her mind. She realized she could learn to figure out the feedback she wanted so she could ask for it.
Set up #1:
I set myself up by making a statement instead of stating what I wanted.
Set Up #2:
My timing wasn’t good either. Even if I had asked for feedback I would have been disappointed that he didn’t have time to give it to me right then.
We had a full day yesterday and a late night. This morning over coffee – after chickening out a bit more – I told my husband what I realized.
- I wanted feedback but didn’t ask for it.
- I was hurt.
- It wasn’t okay for me to be upset with him for not knowing what I need if I don’t tell him.
This morning when I did ask for feedback I was blessed and encouraged by his belief in me, my gifts, and my calling.
Do you ever set yourself up for failure?
Do you expect key people in your life to read your mind?