I went to Webster to see what Daniel had to say about disillusionment. I found he had nothing to say. It was not a word in 1828. Well, he didn’t put it in the dictionary at least. One site online said it was first used in 1591, though Meriam-Websters site says not until 1855. Anyway it now means “disenchanted” which means to free from illusion.
This search is feeling like my search to find out that dream meant something that happens when you’re sleeping. Not really what I was after. I think what disillusionment means to me is confusion, uncertainty, and doubt – ultimately rooted in fear.
I didn’t like the definition of being freed from illusion because that would mean I had been foolish enough to be following an illusion. I think that’s exactly it though. Without meaning to or knowing it I was following the illusion of what I wanted my dream to look like. I was focused on the illusion of my dream instead of on the unchanging face of God, so when the dream dies I am disillusioned, and rightly so.
The first step to regaining hope is to lose the illusion. I tend to be very idealistic, which if I’m honest would mean I have illusions of what I think things will be like if my dream came true. I guess maybe I’m delusional? I have had illusions like:
- being happy when this or that happens
- I’ll be content when….
- Fulfillment is in x, y, or z.
- if I could just get my act together…
This is hoping in the dream, or the illusion of a dream. Hope can only be found by focusing on the Dream Giver.
There is hope because He is.
He is faithful. He is good. He is gracious. He is wholly unable to change or break a promise.
He is hope.
Have you been disillusioned?
What did you do?
Where do you find hope?