Pastor Paul’s message on pruning was a challenging one.
It is hard to look up and see that I do not know God like I think I do, or want to. I do not know him like I need to for this pruning to be as effective as I long for it to be. What makes it harder is knowing he has been calling me to more time with him, the intimacy I long for, yet I’ve neglected him in the everyday busyness and tasks.
Looking back can be “If only” and “Why didn’t I?” The “Why didn’t I?” can be helpful if I gain insight into changes to make. If it stays in discouragement the pruning will have to continue.
Looking inside is such a mess! Up and down. Hope and confusion. Seeing God and losing all focus.
Looking forward is hard right now, too. Sometimes I can’t see what it looks like at all. Other times I can see things far too large and distant to be helpful. Sometimes I look too far forward and I am missing what I need to be doing now.
Still processing and choosing God’s word above my feelings, harder sometimes than others. More successful sometimes than others also.
Are you going through pruning? Have you taken a good look around?