2013 Wrap Up

Well I am more than a little behind heading into 2014.

How about you? I hope you are transitioning smoothly.

This post was started mid December and well- here it is anyway.image

Another year rapidly draws to a close. I am not sure I am much further on my journey to learn about dreaming than I was a year ago. I still have questions. I still have issues. I have a file of unfinished posts about dreaming. I have started to dream again, hesitating, halting, even arguing at times, but it’s a start.

I am in a place of evaluating and planning. Writing once a week for the blog seems reasonable, yet I look back at the last two years and I’m not so sure….

A common line of questions for an author seems to deal with future books. I have ideas, I have starts. I have no definite plans. Feedback from you, my readers, on what you need, what you are looking for would be great.

Here are some things I gained in 2013:
  • I’ve acquired a strange passion for making wire trees.
  • A deeper conviction of the importance of quality communication.
  • A growing hunger for meaningful connection with God and people.
  • The conviction that God wants me to dream dreams impossible without Him.
  • New tools and awareness for the spiritual battle I face in and around me. (more unfinished blog posts…)
  • New deep friendships.
What about you? What have you gained in 2013?
Where are you headed in 2014? Where is your focus?

Stop by next week and I will have my One Word for 2014 and share my plans for this blog and other writing, too.

Hope to Dream

Hope in the Lord
Hope in the Lord

Hope is essential to dreaming.

Rom 15:13 NHEB Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope, in the power of the Holy Spirit.

God if you are good why do I feel hopeless?
Have you ever asked that question?
I did. He is faithful to answer.
His answer to me was this:
Because you are thinking you need to see solutions to have hope. You just need to see Me. See Me big enough, good enough, strong enough to do what is right, what I ask you to do because it pleases Me not for the outcome, certainly not for the immediate outcome.

He reminded me of the story of three bricklayers. It goes something like this:
A boy walks past a construction site where the crew is laying bricks. He asks one worker, “What are you doing?” The worker responds that he is laying bricks. The boy watches a while longer. He asks another worker, “What are you doing?” “I am building a wall.” A little while later the boy asks another worker. “What are you doing?” The worker proudly replies, “I am builing the most amazing catherdral in the country!”

Hope builds the catherdal. Each act of obedience, small or great is laying another brick in my catherdal.

When I am feeling hopeless it is because I am taking the perspective of the first worker. I am just working, not making much of a difference. Even though I may be working hard I don’t see much progress, just more work to come.

Hope comes when I trust God. If I am obeying Him then each act is building the catherdal He has for me. A cathedral lasts for generations, standing as a testimony. My cathedral is my legacy, the testimony I will leave for generations.

I may not always see the big picture. I always know the architect. He knows what He is doing.

Dreaming for Fall

I enjoy dreaming and planning- too much sometimes. I can dream and plan the day away while not really accomplishing anything. There are many reasons I am sure, but that would be another post This one is moving me to action, maybe you too?


Fall is rapidly approaching, with it the realization that school starts soon. Since I am the teacher this means I have got some work to do! I enjoy the planning and organizing. I get great pleasure from new office supplies and pretty notebooks. I am one of those that can get lost in an office supply store, I don’t even go to them anymore.


This summer has been different though. I have not accomplished near what I hoped for in work or play so I have been dragging my feet about admitting it is almost over. I have to be a good example to my kids so my goal is to get our plan in place this week.


When I sat down to start planning I asked myself what I wanted. Energy. Direction. Peace. These three flowed from my pen and surprised me. I was expecting language programs, science topics, something school related. However I realized these ae really what I want, my dream in life right now. I wrote down a few ideas for action on each one.


* Get enough sleep and rest

* Start exercising

* Maybe it’s time to see a professional about my health



* Ask God for wisdom and do what He tells me

* Create routines of good habits

* Make sure my priorities are right and taken care of



* Create routines to take care of my responsibilities, planning, cleaning, cooking, paperwork, writing

* Make time for friendship. I joined a Bible study group at the beginning of summer and have been so blessed and enriched by connecting to godly women. I will always make time for genuine relationship.

* Add intentional worship to my days. I have enjoyed quiet mornings with the Lord this summer. I want that to continue but I also want to bring worship and prayer into daily life with my children again. I am still pondering what that will look like.


I also know that the days of the children sleeping in must come to an end. In some ways I wish I could let them sleep and then we would just go about our day as they were ready, but I know that does not work well for any of us. So we will be transitioning to a regular wake time, breakfast time and agenda for the day.

Dreaming for Fall

To be successful in transitioning to a fall routine the planning and new habits are most important. I need meal plans for all three meals of the day. I usually do good to plan dinner, like I don’t know what we are eating tonight… I need a time set aside to plan those meals. I need a weekly planning time for myself and my family so we can all be on the same page.


I want to transition to our full schedule a little at a time. I tend to need to work backward in my planning. Where do I need to be when? Then I can decide what steps to take to get there. So, I think we will start some classes the week of September 9. I am thinking of this transition as a fade out. As summer anda fall activities fade out school will fade in until we have completed the transition. Sounds lovely! I hope I can pull it off.


First thing will be creating a new morning routine. Next week, August 26, I want to start having breakfast at 8. This means breakfast will have to be planned- what to make, when to start it (ie. night before, 7:30). After breakfast I want to work on projects and planning. The projects will be something to do together and some things for them to do while I am at Carol’s. Then hopefully fun, but at least free time for the kids, in the afternoon. This means a list of what I want to work on. Cleaning, defining chores, organizing school stuff. Even more I want to include God time. I need a good idea of what that looks like.


I want to focus on the habit of planning and communicating because I think things are going to have to stay in flux for a while. I don’t think I can make a schedule that will work for us until Christmas. Instead we need to learn to use tools to make sure the important things get done each week like checklists for chores and school.


It is wonderful to dream. It is more wonderful to make things happen, even if it is hard to get started. I am excited about moving toward what I want. I am excited about helping my children do the same.


What about you? Have you gone back to school? Does fall bring changes to your routine? Are you taking steps to live your dream life?


Perhaps you could do the activity I did. Ask yourself what you want. Identify some changes you can make to move you in that direction. I would love to hear from you if you do!

Summer Break

It seems I have taken the month of July off from blogging. I wish I could say it was intentional.
Summer has simply gotten in the way.
God is showing me great things. I want to share them with you. I guess I need to get better at recognizing a changing season and adjusting my schedule and expectations accordingly. Its not like I didn’t know summer was coming. I did. I just didn’t know all that summer was bringing with it, or rather I didn’t realize the time and energy the things summer was bringing would take. I knew some of them would be “lots of work” but I didn’t translate that into hours invested. I tried, but I need much more practice.
I planned lots of time to write. Time for projects, maybe getting ahead for when we start back to homeschooling? Oh no, it was not to be so, at least not the way I planned it.
God has been pouring into me this summer. The pouring in and the processing are not quickly coming to a finished product.
I wanted to keep posting on my One Word, Dream. I seem to be stuck there though. All my other projects and processing hasn’t left me time for study about my word.
I am doing a great Bible Study with a wonderful group of women. I’ll be telling you more about it in September.

How has your summer been?
What you expected?
What are the blessings?
What are the struggles?IMG_5129

Questioning: Who Am I?

Asking Questions About Dreaming
Asking Questions About Dreaming
Who do I want to be?
Who am I made to be?
What are my passions?
What are my talents?
Where is my voice?
What is my purpose?
What does it look like?
I can remember doing sketches like this one since junior high. I can picture specific ones, even a college art project full of questions. At first this was not a happy thought. I was quite discouraged to be swimming, maybe wallowing, in a sea of questions, again. Some of the same questions, still.At almost 40 years old I’m seeing for the first time that perhaps questioning is just part of the way I am. I’m a thinker. I’m a planner. I’ve always felt wrong for all my questions I’ve always felt I should have the answers. I guess like question were bad if I didn’t have the answer. I wouldn’t be much of a thinker or a planner if I didn’t see things that needed answers, would I?It’s not bad to have the question and no answer. It’s wrong to dwell on the question without seeking the answer (wallowing – which would be why I was discouraged? Have been over the years?).I thought I personally needed to supply the answer, like it wouldn’t be okay to find the answer or get help with finding answers. Of course there is no way I can have all the answers to the questions I ask. I have God given resources all around, and within me. I am not enough by myself.Seeing this thinking about questioning being wrong, needing to have all the answers written out it is obviously wrong. Having it within me I hadn’t even seen it.
Jesus said “I am the way.” The way where? Well to heaven, to eternal life. So much more than that, too. He is the way to answer my questions. He is the answer to my questions. He created me. He has plans for me, good ones! If he has plans that would be the answers I’m looking for.
Holy Spirit has sealed me and lives inside me. He knows all the plans for me. He is always communicating the Father’s thoughts to my spirit. I have to learn to listen, choose to listen, chose to respond.I believe seeing questions and seeking answers as part of my make up is another part of knowing my identity so I can pursue God’s dreams for me.Is there something about your personality that has frustrated you? Ask God about His intentions for that trait. Satan loves to twist our God given strengths and gifts to our destruction. Brought back under God’s plan they will be part of reaching our destiny.I’d love to hear from you. Please leave a comment below.This post is part of my One Word 2013 series. To read more search Dream on this blog.

Dream Sketches, Sort of…

I went and overwhelmed my brain and my schedule this week.
Writing something worth your reading seems out of reach.
I’m sharing some sketches instead.
Being filled with courage. Having courage within. Encouragement.
Not really a sketch even, a thought in color?
How is your week?
Is there room for dreams? 

Let the Wind Blow: Revisit and Update

Maybe it the season. Maybe it’s about dreaming.
I want to share this post again. The original portion was two years ago, updated a few months later.

A post about a storm in my life… (read the post by clicking the link below)
 Let the Wind Blow: I originally posted this in April. I really need the reminder today as the clean up continues. God is faithful, in him I put my trust. …

April 2013
The winds of that storm rarely gust anymore. A great measure of healing has come. Most of the big trees survived and are doing well, some we’re still loving and praying for recovery. I feel we’re in a long winter. It’s hard to tell about the flowers and the gardens. I long for spring. I long for big projects and improvements, but sense it will only be a season of cleaning, repairing, mending – being faithful in small things before larger things are revealed.

New winds are stirring. I pray for warm, encouraging south winds. I know there are cold, harsh north winds. This creates the whirlwind to transform me to His image.

While I long to see the end result I will choose to be content knowing I am on the Rock that will not be shaken though all else is shaken.

Disillusionment for Hope

I went to Webster to see what Daniel had to say about disillusionment. I found he had nothing to say. It was not a word in 1828. Well, he didn’t put it in the dictionary at least. One site online said it was first used in 1591, though Meriam-Websters site says not until 1855.  Anyway it now means “disenchanted” which means to free from illusion.
This search is feeling like my search to find out that dream meant something that happens when you’re sleeping. Not really what I was after. I think what disillusionment means to me is confusion, uncertainty, and doubt – ultimately rooted in fear.
I didn’t like the definition of being freed from illusion because that would mean I had been foolish enough to be following an illusion. I think that’s exactly it though. Without meaning to or knowing it I was following the illusion of what I wanted my dream to look like. I was focused on the illusion of my dream instead of on the unchanging face of God, so when the dream dies I am disillusioned, and rightly so.
The first step to regaining hope is to lose the illusion. I tend to be very idealistic, which if I’m honest would mean I have illusions of what I think things will be like if my dream came true. I guess maybe I’m delusional? I have had illusions like:
  • being happy when this or that happens
  • I’ll be content when….
  • Fulfillment is in x, y, or z.
  • if I could just get my act together…
This is hoping in the dream, or the illusion of a dream. Hope can only be found by focusing on the Dream Giver.
There is hope because He is.
He is faithful. He is good. He is gracious. He is wholly unable to change or break a promise.
He is hope.

Have you been disillusioned?
What did you do?
Where do you find hope?

Trading Discouragement for Courage

 How appropriate that my journey into the word Dream has brought me to trading discouragement for courage. I have certainly been discouraged – this week even.  I need to focus on trading the discouragement for new courage.
 In the wake of dying dreams I have been disappointed and discouraged-even disillusioned.  I’ve had some really big dreams die. This week however it was a small thing that had me discouraged. I had an event that didn’t turn out like I had hoped. I’m not sure why a few people not coming to an event would make me question everything about my writing. For a while it did though, a failed event meant I was a failure in everything, in every way. That’s discouragement.
DISCOURAGE, v.t. discourage.

1. To extinguish the courage of; to dishearten; to depress the spirits; to deject; to deprive of confidence.

The great trade is that God always has courage to offer – His courage. After a much too long pity party yesterday, today I set out to find new courage. It takes courage to dream again. There are a lot of questions and hurts when a dream dies. In my pity party I was lamenting to my husband about where I should put my time and how much time I should put into marketing my books. Lack of courage reared its head when the most obvious solution was to personally contact churches about my books. “I can’t do that.” “I don’t know what to say.” “What would I present?” I was disappointed and discouraged. Courage had left me. “I’m not good at small talk.” “I hate cold calls.” “I hate feeling like I’m trying to sell myself or push my product.” Somehow the fear makes me forget that I have a valuable tool to offer. 
 I’m in need of courage to revive my dream of selling books. I’m in need of courage to revive dreams for my future. Where do I start?
COURAGE, n. [L., the heart.] Bravery; intrepidity; that quality of mind which enables men to encounter danger and difficulties with firmness, or without fear or depression of spirits; valor; boldness; resolution. It is a constituent part of fortitude; but fortitude implies patience to bear continued suffering.

Courage that grows from constitution, often forsakes a man when he has occasion for it; courage which arises from a sense of duty, acts in a uniform manner.

Webster’s 1828 Dictionary
The explanation after the definition reveals a truth. We can take courage because we will to but how much greater when the courage comes from God. We’ve read His word we’ve heard His voice so we are full of courage.
Courage comes from remembering who I am and who’s I am. I guess dealing with disappointment restores courage too. I have to change my thinking to be courageous. I also need to change some actions. There are skills I can practice and acquire to give me courage. I can put together a presentation and practice it. Being sure I’m putting my time and effort where God wants it to go will give me courage.
 I know I can have courage because scripture repeatedly tells me to have courage. It’s a choice – my choice. I can look at the mountain or I can look at the God who moves mountains. I will learn to be courageous.

What do you do when you lack courage? Are the helpful or hurtful?
Do you have any new ideas to try to gain courage?

Taking a Break

It’s that time of year again


This is the first season Easter is About Jesus: Family Devotions for the Easter Season has been available. It would seem I did not adequately prepare. Now I’m finding I don’t have a post about dreaming ready for this Wednesday. I’m giving myself a break until after Easter.

You can read about One Word, mine for 2013 is Dream by clicking the word “Dream” on the right under “Labels”.
You can read the posts I’m doing for Easter on Focus on Jesus.

Blessings on you and your family as you focus on Jesus this Easter.