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Emotional maturity is key to your spiritual growth. That’s why I start with the heart and the skills for emotional maturity when pursuing spiritual growth. It takes emotional maturity to carry out the spiritual instruction in the Bible.
For example, when you read a passage like James 1:19, 20 about being slow to anger you might think or have been told that you need to be more spiritual to do that. You don’t need to be more spiritual you need to be emotionally mature.
Understand this, my beloved brothers and sisters. Let everyone be quick to hear [be a careful, thoughtful listener], slow to speak [a speaker of carefully chosen words and], slow to anger [patient, reflective, forgiving]; for the [resentful, deep-seated] anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God [that standard of behavior which He requires from us]. James 1:19,20 Amplified Bible
Being a careful listener when someone is confronting you or questioning a decision takes emotional maturity to listen without taking anything personally or without defending yourself. You need emotional maturity to listen and form a response rather than reacting to what is said.
It also takes emotional maturity to see when you feel like reacting so you can bring that place in you that wants to react to the Lord for healing or correction.
Seeing something from someone else’s point of view requires emotional maturity.
“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:15)
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).
It requires emotional maturity to not need people to understand you or to not need people to be like you, to be able to love them. To not take it personally if they don't understand what you're saying. To be able to be curious and be able to stay in conversations until there can be understanding of why they think the way they do, to see whether that's because they haven't been in the kingdom very long or because they've been taught wrong or life experiences or whatever it is.
Being able to have those conversations and sit with disagreements and differences requires emotional maturity as well as spiritual maturity.
It also takes emotional maturity to understand when you're feeling your own emotions versus someone else's or when you're trying to manage something for someone else versus being mature and responsible for yourself.
It takes that emotional maturity to let someone around you be sad or be angry to feel however they feel instead of needing them to feel a certain way for you to be okay.
It takes emotional maturity to see what's yours and what someone else's. If you're feeling sad or overwhelmed or scared or whatever, having the emotional maturity to practice discernment to see is this mine? Is this current, or is it feeling what someone else is feeling? Is it a spirit? Is it something from the past? Having that emotional maturity then allows you to ask the Lord for spiritual insight of why you are responding the way you are.
I talk about all this in more depth in this week’s podcast.
00:00 Why Emotions Matter
00:38 Slow to Anger Skills
02:15 Empathy in Romans 12
02:53 Compassionate Perspective
03:51 Safe Conversations
05:15 Discern Your Emotions
07:38 Faith Culture and Feelings
09:13 Childhood Roles Reversed
11:52 Unlearning Neglect Messages
14:46 Grace for Your Parents
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